Fortune Cookie Friday

By now I’m sure you know that I live and die by the fortune cookie. That is, I don’t do anything unless my fortune cookie tells me too. Luckily for me, I got a new batch of cookies that seem to be much more intuitive.

Phew! I guess tomorrow I’ll finally be able to get some work done. Now I just have to decide is which creative project to tackle first, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, or solving world hunger.

Wish me luck.

Weed Dating? Really?

Photo Credit: AP

I imagine most conversations start something like this at your typical “weed dating” event:

Guy: “I’ve been watching you from across the garden, and I couldn’t help but notice how good you are at telling the weeds apart from the crops. You’re just the kind of woman I’ve always dreamed of meeting.”

Girl: *Nervously Giggles*

Then, while reaching for the same weed, their gloved hands touch. It’s magical. They look up and their eyes meet in a slightly bashful, yet longing gaze. Years later they’ll retell this story to their seven kids and 35 grandkids, no doubt with some sort of cheesy analogy about how they met in a garden and their love has “grown wild and free ever since.”
Ugh.

Weed dating. WEED dating? WEED DATING!

Ok. Can we PLEASE talk about this?

It’s speed dating . . . while pulling weeds. Get it? “Weed Dating.”

Look, you don’t get to be single and 32 without seeing your fair share of weird dating ideas, but this one ranks pretty high on the list of “Reasons I’m Embarrassed to be Single.” It is also pretty high on the “Reasons I’m Embarrassed to be from Idaho” and “Reasons I’m Embarrassed for Other People” lists.I think we can easily put this one in the “Dating Hall of Shame.”The way I see it, some people needed their garden weeded and with a little creative thinking, they came up with a way to not only have someone else do it, but to get them to pay money for the privilege. Those people are geniuses! The people attending weed dating? Maybe not so much.

But what do I know? My yard is clearly of out of control these days.

I should think about hosting my own weed dating activity. Let’s see, people would pay me. My yard would finally get the love and attention it deserves. I could work it with any of the single fellas who show up.

I take back every bad thing I said.

I have a small yard, so space is limited. ACT NOW!

Who’s ready to sign up?

Sometimes, You Just Want to Be Jello

Lately, I’ve found myself wishing I was Jello. Now I fully understand that crème brûlée can never be Jello, and really, there’s nothing wrong with being crème brûlée, but sometimes I just get a little envious of the Jello.

Did I lose you somewhere? I’ll explain. I’ve been lucky enough to meet and make friends with some fabulous people. In fact, just last week I went to the Evo Conference, where I rubbed shoulders with great women who are pretty big deals in the blogging and business world. It was an awesome experience, but soon I started looking at everyone else and wishing I was more outgoing, funnier, friendlier, smarter, you know, more . . . Jello-like.

I think we’ve all been there. Please, tell me we’ve all been there! If we haven’t all been there, at least have the decency to lie to me about it.

The thing is, what do I think would be different about my life if I were Jello? And how boring would it be if EVERYONE were Jello?

My point is this, I’m me, you’re you, and really, that’s exactly the way it should be. I need to be the best ME I can be and stop worrying about how my palms get sweaty when anyone talks about a networking event, or how I’m overly skilled at creating awkward moments, or how I don’t have moves like Jagger. Although really, I can’t say I’ve ever seen him dance, and I’m highly doubtful that he really has moves at all. But I digress.

I guess in the end, I’ll keep being crème brûlée, and you can keep being Jello, and together, we can be pretty awesome.

Change is Coming

I feel kind of lame posting this, but I’m going to post it anyway. I’m getting ready to revamp my blog, start posting every now and then *gasp*, and generally spice things up around here. If you currently link to my blog, please change the link to www.melanieunplugged.com (instead of melanieunplugged.blogspot.com). Trust me, you’re not going to want to miss this. Thanks!