Browsing Category: Fortune Cookie Friday

Fortune Cookie Friday

By now I’m sure you know that I live and die by the fortune cookie. That is, I don’t do anything unless my fortune cookie tells me too. Luckily for me, I got a new batch of cookies that seem to be much more intuitive.

Phew! I guess tomorrow I’ll finally be able to get some work done. Now I just have to decide is which creative project to tackle first, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, or solving world hunger.

Wish me luck.

Fortune Cookie Friday

Now we’re talking! Just when I was about to give up on this bag of fortune cookies, it totally redeems itself! Stating the obvious? Maybe. But today, I’ll take it. Have I mentioned that it’s summer and time for another summer bucket list? Well, it is. More on that to come. For now, I’ll revel in today’s great fortune.

Fortune Cookie Friday

It seems like it’s been kind of a long week (despite the fact that Monday was Memorial Day so it was actually a short week). At any rate, I was hoping for a fortune that was deep and insightful. I know, I know. I should really have a better grasp on my expectations by now because this is what my fortune said:

Well, I guess it’s relevant just the same. The fortune did make me a little bit mad because it got the “Don’t Worry Be Happy” song stuck in my head. But then I watched the music video for it and I was suddenly feeling ok again. Life could always be worse. Well, unless you’re they person who has to admit that they made the “Don’t Worry Be Happy” music video. That’s probably pretty close to rock bottom. Here’s to hoping that they kept humming this tune and were able to rebound and have a smashingly successful career.

Fortune Cookie Friday

Here is today’s cookie wisdom:

I guess the whole “two in the bush” thing never made a ton of sense, but a hundred in the air? That just sounds like it would necessitate a car wash. Trust me, I know. Our office had a little bird problem a couple of months ago. I think I washed my car three times a week for a couple of weeks there, and I could have washed it three times a day. When I was driving in to the carwash I heard one of the workers turn to the other as he pre-soaked my car and say “What happened to this car?” It was gross, but I digress. Mostly because I’m pretty sure the fortune cookie writer meant for me to take a philosophical approach to this bit of wisdom. Nope. Not going to happen.

This fortune kind of reminds me of one of my favorite commercials. It’s random, but funny. Enjoy.

Fortune Cookie Friday

I’m bringing back Fortune Cookie Friday! Although, I think it’s time I invested in some new fortune cookies. These fortunes are horrible!

I’ve actually been unwittingly living by this fortune lately. I’ve done enough testing to know that it’s a lie. Ok, not a total lie, but a lie nonetheless.

You see, I’ve been devouring leftover Easter candy like it’s going out of season, because, well, because it is in fact out of season. Anyway, while my happiness level has increased, my overall circumference has also increased. The latter has led to my happiness level decreasing more than the candy increased it.

Now I’m no genius, and I’m CERTAINLY not a math whiz, but it seems like that is an unbalanced equation. My scale thinks so too.

So, thanks for the lies, fortune cookie. Your only redeeming quality is that you’re expired and smell horrible, so I’m not even tempted to eat you to suppress the hurt and anger you’ve caused me today.

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